Introduction
Step-parenting is not an easy task; it is a fulfilling role that comes with many struggles and difficulties. Being a bonus parent means that you are given a chance to play a tremendously positive role in your stepchild’s life. Nevertheless, developing a loving relationship usually requires one from both of you and your stepchild some time, tolerance, and work. In this blog post, I will be offering some insights on how you can build a good relationship with your stepchild.
Manage Your Expectations
When one is introduced to a stepchild, it is crucial not to anticipate that there will be a family bond right from the onset. This is because children may have conflicting feelings towards their parent’s new partners. Do not impose your love on your stepchild – they will most likely reject it. Instead, let some time pass and get to know each other gradually. Let the child know that you want to be friends with him or her and want to be a positive role model figure in their life. After such a beginning, let the relationship grow naturally from that point onward.
Create Quality One-on-One Time
This is because, unlike biological children, stepchildren may not have the same level of trust in the stepparent right from the start. Both of you should engage in activities that you love and try to set aside some personal time every day that you spend alone with each other without any interruptions. From baking cookies together to playing board games to volunteering with animals, shared experiences over time will begin to shift the dynamic to where your stepchild will view you as the parent figure in their life. Just show up and pay attention during these activities – just this level of attention speaks volumes.
Take Interest in Their Life Try to pretend to be interested in your stepchild’s activities, friends, hobbies, and school activities. Greet them warmly and ask them what they did at school or what they are looking forward to or fear in the future. Just pay attention to them when they are imparting knowledge to you. Memorizing important aspects and thinking through further questions implies an attitude and appreciation of them.
Roles and Responsibilities
Even though you don’t want to be too authoritative in disciplining the child at the initial stages, talk to your stepchild about what is acceptable and what is not. When discussing bedtimes, rules on the use of technologies, homework, chores, and behaviors, parents should do so gently and with understanding. Children need to know and follow certain rules and schedules. Responsible for applying punitive measures, stay stern but always gentle, and never forget that you are correcting them for their good. In the course of the development of the relationship, it is possible to jointly devise reasonable punishment.
As much as it is sometimes hard to accept your stepchild’s biological parents, do not say anything bad about them. This leads to kids choosing which side they would belong to and this always fuels the fire. Understand that there are factors in those relationships that are not part of yours. Lastly, do not take your frustrations out on your stepchild, instead discuss with your partner like adults. Provide words and actions that demonstrate how effective co-parenting can be done.
Conclusion
When a couple decides to merge their families, problems arise in every aspect of their relationship. It is very natural to have some disagreements, embarrassment, issues when parents find it difficult to combine their approaches and those moments when nothing seems to work. As for those times, bear in mind that change is gradual. By dedicating time and positive energy towards your stepchild in a way that has their needs in mind more than your own, the bond between both of you will only develop over the years to come.
