Dr. Lenore Millian

Making Your Second Marriage Last:

A LOVERS Quiz

By Lenore Millian, Ph.D.

Bride Again, Fall 2000

As second wives, we embrace the vows of marriage: “for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” But with the reality of high divorce rates and remarriages, many women find themselves in this role, marrying men who have previous marital histories.

Being a second wife means integrating not just with your spouse but also with their past—former spouses, children, and extended family. These elements can sometimes create challenges that feel overwhelming and lead to crises, especially in the early years of the marriage.

Second marriages can face unique issues because of the lingering effects of previous relationships. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the average first marriage lasts 6.3 years, while the average second marriage lasts 4.5 years. However, we can defy these odds by learning how to address and manage these challenges effectively. By focusing on the LOVERS motto—Loyalty, Openness, Value of Trust, Empathy, Respect, and Stability of Commitment—we can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

To evaluate the health of your marriage, consider taking this self-diagnostic quiz with your partner. This simple quiz will help identify strengths and weaknesses in your relationship, including areas related to trust, respect, and communication.

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After You Complete the Relationship Quiz

As a result of taking the quiz, if you feel you and/or your partner would benefit from counseling on any issues the quiz brought to the surface, call or text me at 203-313-1208. I will help you work through the issues and strengthen your relationship.

The Meaning of LOVERS

The acronym LOVERS is a concept of marital relationships to help you evaluate the health of your marriage. LOVERS are the essentials--the foundation and building blocks of a marriage. When you and your spouse or partner work toward being LOVERS every day of your lives, you ensure the permanence of your relationship.

  • Loyalty
  • Openness
  • Value of Trust
  • Empathy
  • Respect
  • Stability of Commitment
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Permission to reprint this article in whole or in part must be requested in writing to Dr. Lenore Millian at MarriageNJ@gmail.com

Initial Brief Consultation is Free

Inquiries are welcome and are personally answered by Dr. Millian, Psychologist and Marriage/Couples Counselor, Connecticut and Bergen County, NJ. For a prompt response please call or text her at 203-313-1208.