Making Your Second Marriage Last:

As second wives, we embrace the vows of marriage: “for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” But with the reality of high divorce rates and remarriages, many women find themselves in this role, marrying men who have previous marital histories.

Being a second wife means integrating not just with your spouse but also with their past—former spouses, children, and extended family. These elements can sometimes create challenges that feel overwhelming and lead to crises, especially in the early years of the marriage.

Second marriages can face unique issues because of the lingering effects of previous relationships. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the average first marriage lasts 6.3 years, while the average second marriage lasts 4.5 years. However, we can defy these odds by learning how to address and manage these challenges effectively. By focusing on the LOVERS motto—Loyalty, Openness, Value of Trust, Empathy, Respect, and Stability of Commitment—we can build a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

To evaluate the health of your marriage, consider taking this self-diagnostic quiz with your partner. This simple quiz will help identify strengths and weaknesses in your relationship, including areas related to trust, respect, and communication.