Marriage Counseling
I wrote The Second Wives Club: Secrets for Becoming Lovers for Life, highlighting that working on a marriage can be tougher than getting a divorce. The book teaches couples how to revive and strengthen their love by improving communication and making each other feel special.
As a marriage counselor, I help you address relationship issues with a neutral, understanding approach. Whether you’re facing a mid-life crisis, infidelity, or simply feeling distant, I can guide you to overcome these challenges and get your relationship back on track.
Couples Counseling
Couples counseling is designed to help partners strengthen their relationship by addressing and resolving conflicts, improving communication, and deepening emotional connections. Whether facing specific challenges or wanting to enhance your relationship, couples counseling provides a safe space to explore your feelings and work towards a more fulfilling partnership. Together, we’ll identify and address issues, develop a better understanding, and create a stronger, more resilient bond.
Successful relationships, whether in marriage or committed partnerships, share key ingredients that keep the bond strong. These include:
These “LOVERS” principles are the foundation of any lasting relationship. When even one of these elements is missing, it can lead to significant issues. As an empathetic couple and marriage counselor, I am here to gently guide you and your partner in embracing these principles every day, helping you build a strong and enduring relationship.
Second Marriage Counseling
Second marriage counseling focuses on the unique challenges that couples may face in a second marriage. Blending families, dealing with past relationship baggage, and managing expectations can create stress in a new marriage. This counseling provides a supportive space to address these issues, improve communication, and build trust. By working together, couples can strengthen their bond and create a healthy, fulfilling partnership in their second marriage.
In second marriages, relationship issues can become even more intense, almost like they’ve been struck by lightning. This happens because a second marriage involves not just the new partner but also their past. A second wife or husband isn’t just marrying their partner—they’re also marrying their partner’s history, which can have a big impact on the relationship.
According to the National Center for Divorce Statistics, the average first marriage lasts 6.3 years, while the average second marriage lasts only 4.5 years. However, with the help of a counselor like me, who specializes in remarriage counseling, you can beat these odds. I can guide you through the challenges of a second marriage, such as dealing with a former spouse, children from previous relationships, and lingering memories from the past.
Divorce Counseling
Divorce counseling provides support and guidance during one of life’s most challenging transitions. It helps individuals and couples navigate the emotional, legal, and practical aspects of ending a marriage. Through counseling, you can process feelings of grief, anger, and confusion, develop coping strategies, and start to rebuild your life. Whether you’re in the midst of a divorce or adjusting to life after, divorce counseling offers a safe space to heal and move forward with clarity and confidence.
Divorce is stressful and painful for everyone involved, especially for any children or grandchildren. As an experienced Divorce Counselor, I can help you and your former spouse establish “rules of engagement” to manage your interactions. This includes setting boundaries, avoiding conflicts, and ensuring that the children’s needs are prioritized.
Even if only one of you seeks counseling, it’s still valuable. Learning strategies for dealing with a former spouse can lead to smoother relations. Having a professional on your side provides the confidence and strength to handle your ex in a way that’s best for you and your family. For more insights, you can also check out my magazine article, The Love Game: Soup to Nuts.
Step-Parent Counseling
The role of a second wife or husband is rife with difficulties, and those in the form of a fearful and innocent child can be especially challenging. The child of a divorced parent needs understanding, love, and a firm, guiding hand. Divorce disrupts family life and triggers a child’s confusion because of divided loyalties toward parents.
It is important to assure the child that he/she is loved and wanted in both parents’ homes, despite the divorce. The consistent assurance will help stabilize the youngster and lessen loyalty issues. Let the child know he/she is “safe” to express honest feelings. Nothing will be held against him/her. Help the child to feel “special” in the new family setting.
For additional suggestions, please read my magazine article Ask America’s Ultimate Experts
Communication Skills
Effective communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. Whether you’re dealing with a partner, family member, or colleague, clear and respectful communication can prevent misunderstandings and build trust. Developing good communication skills involves listening actively, expressing yourself clearly, and being open to feedback. In therapy, I help individuals and couples improve their communication, ensuring that they can express their needs, resolve conflicts, and strengthen their connections with others.
It seems that a major obstruction to a healthy relationship is not finances, not sex, not children. It is a lack of effective communication skills. People talk to each other, but they don’t listen. The skill of listening is 75% of constructive communication. Very often, couples are so intent on formulating a retort in their minds that they are unable to truly listen to their partner. This deficit promotes extreme confusion, and mass miscommunication, and greatly blemishes their relationship.
Counseling can save marriages by breaking through tough relationship issues caused by poor communication.
Stress Management
Managing stress is essential for maintaining both mental and physical well-being. Stress can affect your mood, relationships, and overall quality of life. In stress management therapy, I help you identify the sources of your stress and develop effective coping strategies. These may include relaxation techniques, time management skills, and mindfulness practices. By learning how to manage stress, you can regain control over your life, improve your health, and enhance your ability to handle daily challenges.
T.G. Counseling
For many years now, in my Bergen County, N.J. practice, I have been counseling individuals with gender identity issues. Any one of you in the transgender community is aware of how difficult it can be to live as a C.D. in our society today. Many of you often have said to me, “Dr. Millian, although I was born a male, I always felt imprisoned in this male body- I truly am a woman”. It works reverse as well; I’ve treated women who have felt themselves to be men. Both situations can be agonizing and life-changing.
Transgender individuals are often confused and conflicted by the pressures they bear. A counselor can help you to work through your feelings and assist you in adjusting to the world you choose. You are so correct when you declare “I have to be me!”
Therapy by a Psychologist experienced in transgender counseling will give you the understanding and the support you need to proceed with your life plans.
Gay and Lesbian Counseling
Gay and lesbian counseling provides a supportive environment for individuals and couples to explore their unique challenges and experiences. This type of counseling addresses issues such as coming out, navigating relationships, dealing with discrimination, and managing family dynamics. I offer a safe, nonjudgmental space where you can openly discuss your concerns, work through difficulties, and find ways to live authentically. Whether you’re facing personal struggles or relationship challenges, I’m here to help you build a fulfilling and empowered life.
All of the topics that concern individuals and couples of course apply to those who are gay or lesbian. Anxiety, depression, interpersonal conflicts, and so forth are not restricted to sexual orientation boundaries. As a psychologist, I have worked with gay and lesbian people very effectively because of my understanding and experience. My extensive training as a psychologist and over twenty-seven years of being in practice have included counseling many people in the gay and lesbian population.
Therapy with gay or lesbian individuals or couples (with the guidance of a respectful and caring Counselor) can promote a long, healthy relationship. The acronym “LOVERS” is a guideline for one and all. It is an aspiration that is well worth the effort for a lifetime of peace and contentment.
